I will be updating our story on this post if you're interested. The beginning starts at the bottom.
UPDATE 6/4/2005 - We had our fourth appointment today with the doctor and she talked with him for about 45 min and then I went back. Last appt he said he had not cut himself and so between then and now, he has.
She recommended that I call his GP and start him on an antidepressant. Doesn't that scare the shit out of you. Have you heard how many teens commit suicide AFTER starting medication. On the way home as I was driving I was thinking that he's sitting here with me right now and I love him so much, but what about in two weeks, will it all be different. When tragedy strikes, do you ever remember the moments right before when everything seemed so normal or as normal as life can be with teenagers.
Thank goodness we have no guns in the house and nothing to overdose on. The book I'm reading mentioned that everything they could possibly use must be removed from the house, because if they have to do something that may really really hurt, then they stop and think. He told the doctor that he doesn't see a purpose in life and I wanted to blurt out that the purpose of life is LOVE. That's all. Not a high paying job, not the best looking spouse, not a trip to Hawaii, but love. Love as many people as you can and your life will be very blessed. I didn't of course because depression is a chemical imbalance and until they get his chemicals balanced, he is suffering, I mean this child is in some pain. I'm not the type of person who says that things won't happen to me so you can believe I'll be watching his butt like a hawk!
We go to his GP next Wed, so I'll be doing some research on adolescent antidepressants, you can be sure of that shit.
The beginning:About a month ago, my 14 yr old son came to me and D and said that he thinks he may be bipolar. Now some of you know my history and that my ex-husband was bp and that I had several bouts of depression that required medication, so this was not a surprise to me when he approached us with this news. We had educated the kids about the signs of depression and bp early on in the hopes that if they got depressed or manic, they would recognize the fact.
I had not seen any signs of manic from him, so I figured he was depressed. I really hadn't seen signs of depression with him either. No sleeping all the time, withdrawing, dropping grades or anything that would indicate he was having a difficult time. He's a very introverted child that keeps thing in however. His brother sat me down about three days later and told me that S was cutting himself. Yes, cutting. I kept my cool and was glad that I had made an appointment for him. I loved that his brother (15 yrs old) is his confidante. Apparently this cutting thing is becoming an epidemic amongst teens.
So off we went to the psychologist. I mean if a 14 yr old says he needs help, then you do it. I thought it was very mature of him. We've had three appointments so far. After the second one, he said he wasn't going back, but his dad convinced him that it was best if he did. I don't think he understood that therapy is a process and that he wasn't going to go to one appointment and whamo, I'm better.
The psychologist seems to think he may have high anxiety. She wants to see him a couple of more times before she decides ultimately.
As a parent all types of things run through your head when it comes to depression. Suicide, drug addiction, risky behavior, medication side effects, etc. So I'm keeping a closer eye on him and his whereabouts, but the stress is high.
Anywhoo, that's why I picked up that book about teenagers and it's really giving me some insight on parenting teens, which I might add is HELL. I'll take a two year old anyday!
