Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Teenagers are Scary - True Life
I will be updating our story on this post if you're interested. The beginning starts at the bottom.

UPDATE 6/4/2005
- We had our fourth appointment today with the doctor and she talked with him for about 45 min and then I went back. Last appt he said he had not cut himself and so between then and now, he has.

She recommended that I call his GP and start him on an antidepressant. Doesn't that scare the shit out of you. Have you heard how many teens commit suicide AFTER starting medication. On the way home as I was driving I was thinking that he's sitting here with me right now and I love him so much, but what about in two weeks, will it all be different. When tragedy strikes, do you ever remember the moments right before when everything seemed so normal or as normal as life can be with teenagers.

Thank goodness we have no guns in the house and nothing to overdose on. The book I'm reading mentioned that everything they could possibly use must be removed from the house, because if they have to do something that may really really hurt, then they stop and think. He told the doctor that he doesn't see a purpose in life and I wanted to blurt out that the purpose of life is LOVE. That's all. Not a high paying job, not the best looking spouse, not a trip to Hawaii, but love. Love as many people as you can and your life will be very blessed. I didn't of course because depression is a chemical imbalance and until they get his chemicals balanced, he is suffering, I mean this child is in some pain. I'm not the type of person who says that things won't happen to me so you can believe I'll be watching his butt like a hawk!

We go to his GP next Wed, so I'll be doing some research on adolescent antidepressants, you can be sure of that shit.

The beginning:
About a month ago, my 14 yr old son came to me and D and said that he thinks he may be bipolar. Now some of you know my history and that my ex-husband was bp and that I had several bouts of depression that required medication, so this was not a surprise to me when he approached us with this news. We had educated the kids about the signs of depression and bp early on in the hopes that if they got depressed or manic, they would recognize the fact.

I had not seen any signs of manic from him, so I figured he was depressed. I really hadn't seen signs of depression with him either. No sleeping all the time, withdrawing, dropping grades or anything that would indicate he was having a difficult time. He's a very introverted child that keeps thing in however. His brother sat me down about three days later and told me that S was cutting himself. Yes, cutting. I kept my cool and was glad that I had made an appointment for him. I loved that his brother (15 yrs old) is his confidante. Apparently this cutting thing is becoming an epidemic amongst teens.

So off we went to the psychologist. I mean if a 14 yr old says he needs help, then you do it. I thought it was very mature of him. We've had three appointments so far. After the second one, he said he wasn't going back, but his dad convinced him that it was best if he did. I don't think he understood that therapy is a process and that he wasn't going to go to one appointment and whamo, I'm better.

The psychologist seems to think he may have high anxiety. She wants to see him a couple of more times before she decides ultimately.

As a parent all types of things run through your head when it comes to depression. Suicide, drug addiction, risky behavior, medication side effects, etc. So I'm keeping a closer eye on him and his whereabouts, but the stress is high.

Anywhoo, that's why I picked up that book about teenagers and it's really giving me some insight on parenting teens, which I might add is HELL. I'll take a two year old anyday!


Blogger MommaK said...

I agree- very scary. TIME had an article a few weeks back about cutting. In it som eof the kids said that they were cutting themselves because it was the only way they "could feel anything" and that the sensation woke them up inside. Very troubling.

Your son is amazing for coming to you and your other son is awesome for being such a great big brother. I think the worst thing we can do as parent is ignore a legitimate cry for help. Good luck.

Michele sent me:-)

Blogger Cat said...

Gotta Agree also, it is scarey! I have a 15 yr old here myself! totally different world. we can only pray we do our best!

Blogger Mary said...

What an honest and wonderful post.
I'm terrified of the teen years, to tell the truth. Mine are 6 & 10 right now but my oldest is nearing the 'teen trouble' times already. I agree with MommaK that you're very blessed to have your son come talk to you AND to have another son who's such a great brother. We get by in this world TOGETHER, that's for sure.

I wish you the best as you approach what's next. ♥

PS- thanks for stopping by my place via Michele's today. :)

Blogger Guppyman said...

Stopping by via Michele's today.... I dread when my daughter hits the teenager stage... she's seven now, not too long to go. Good luck and keep faith that it will all work out.

Blogger Shaar said...

Hey from Michele's.

I've been through two teen years and am now in the fright of 20 somethings. It is a hard time but it's also a rewarding time. You only do the best you can and follow your gut. Hang in there, you'll get through it.

Blogger emaleejayne said...

Wow. He must be one great kid to come forward with something like that. Good for him for having the courage to do so. You must be doing something right!

Blogger kristal said...

At least you are doing something to help him. As a teenager, I used to cut myself to deal with the pain I was going through. I would have given anything to have someone care about me enough to get me help. The only thing any adult ever said to me was to not let the other kids see the cuts because I might scare them. Sad. Now that I have kids of my own, I can't imagine watching them go through something like that without trying to help.


Good luck and I'll keep your son in my thoughts.

[here via Michele's]

Anonymous Ivy said...

I must say kudos to you as a parent although I'm sure you dont need my Kudos. But doing something for your child like this takes GUTS and Courage. Most people sweep it under the rug or ignore it all together until its too late.

When I was a teen. I didnt cut. I drank. I developed a drinking problem to deal with the pain. It was never easy. The pain was so bad. I was 16 the first time I went on antidepressants.

I'm in awe. It seems like you have a really good relationship with your children for them to be open and honest with you.
When I was a teen all i could do was hide everything from everyone.

Blogger Free to Be said...

Thank you all so much for the support, it really makes a difference.

Blogger Lucky328 said...

Well miss FTB i must say you are all handling it well. My sis has anxeity while traveling.. very hard to deal with.. she gets sick going on vacation but on the trip home she is fine... any hoo...

I hope ur son makes it through okay. Oh make sure there is no rope in the house either... had a friend of mine in high school hung himself.. just trying to give you all the evil things they can use!

i know how scary it all can be the though of oh my god how can this happen to my kid.. but teen yrs are rough... i think most parents block that out...

He is VERY brave for coming forward and thats always a step in the right direction! keep your hopes up!

Blogger Random Vixen said...

You are doing great. I will see what kind of info I can get for you when I go to work. They just started a new trial here to determine if there are safer drugs to prevent suidie in teens. I'm not sure if you have to be local though.

Keep going what your doing. Him coming to you proves you are a great mom.

Oh and who's this Michele and where's her blog?

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