Yeah, about that last post, I'm fine now. Phewwww, glad that's over.
Friday, July 29, 2005
I came across this blog today. A Woman of Many Parts
It made me think of my life so far. At 41, I don't really have the luxury of youth to pave a life for myself as I would have then. I need to LIVE, not exist. Many of my dreams have been burst with knives so sharp, I thought the wounds would never heal. I'm afraid of being so poor that there's no where to go. When we had children, my life's arrow pointed to the raising and protection of them to the abandonment of my true self. My commitment to help these innocent creatures grow and mature knows no bounds. I would sacrifice my life for them, and I have, but not in the literal sense.
I have a wonderful partner I fell so deeply in love with 7 years ago. She balances me. She's beautiful, compassionate, sexy. But I long for time to myself. I feel like a free spirit that sometimes gets trapped. I can't imagine my life without her or them, yet I do. Why is that?
This is not about being a martyr, I've made my choices, they were mine and mine alone. The yearning is strong to do something different, be different.
I am Free to Be, whatever I want.
It made me think of my life so far. At 41, I don't really have the luxury of youth to pave a life for myself as I would have then. I need to LIVE, not exist. Many of my dreams have been burst with knives so sharp, I thought the wounds would never heal. I'm afraid of being so poor that there's no where to go. When we had children, my life's arrow pointed to the raising and protection of them to the abandonment of my true self. My commitment to help these innocent creatures grow and mature knows no bounds. I would sacrifice my life for them, and I have, but not in the literal sense.
I have a wonderful partner I fell so deeply in love with 7 years ago. She balances me. She's beautiful, compassionate, sexy. But I long for time to myself. I feel like a free spirit that sometimes gets trapped. I can't imagine my life without her or them, yet I do. Why is that?
This is not about being a martyr, I've made my choices, they were mine and mine alone. The yearning is strong to do something different, be different.
I am Free to Be, whatever I want.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
I'm nervous all afternoon yesterday. Why am I nervous, I don't have to take the license test, but I was gut wrenching nervous. Maybe because life as I new it was about to end? Yeah, relenting control to my son who that day would actually be getting some adult responsibility and turning into a MAN. This is scary shit folks, I tell ya.
Yeah, well THAT didn't happen.
The BMV wouldn't accept the ORIGINAL birth certificate with the embossed gold seal and original signatures and baby footprints on it as proof of his identity? So technically at this point, my son is no one from no where? Seems they need a GOVERNMENTAL agency certified birth certificate, so I have to order one for guess what.....yep, $10 dollaroonos. And since my other guy will need one next year, that's $20 bucks, plus the $21 for the actual temps when we go back. Drivers Ed will be ohhhhh $450.
So, the nightmare has not begun or not ended, it depends on the perspective.
Yeah, well THAT didn't happen.
The BMV wouldn't accept the ORIGINAL birth certificate with the embossed gold seal and original signatures and baby footprints on it as proof of his identity? So technically at this point, my son is no one from no where? Seems they need a GOVERNMENTAL agency certified birth certificate, so I have to order one for guess what.....yep, $10 dollaroonos. And since my other guy will need one next year, that's $20 bucks, plus the $21 for the actual temps when we go back. Drivers Ed will be ohhhhh $450.
So, the nightmare has not begun or not ended, it depends on the perspective.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Well, today's the day I've been dreading for 15 years.
I'm taking my son to get his temps today.
Eeeeee gadddd, please God keep him safe.
Now the letting go begins with vigor.
My little baby boy is going to DRIVE, you know, behind a 2 ton piece of machinery with a gas pedal and everything.
He can't even pick up his socks.
I'm taking my son to get his temps today.
Eeeeee gadddd, please God keep him safe.
Now the letting go begins with vigor.
My little baby boy is going to DRIVE, you know, behind a 2 ton piece of machinery with a gas pedal and everything.
He can't even pick up his socks.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Check out this website:
It used to be called "A day in the Life".
Scene from my Life
People from all over the world submit photos for a week about their life. Some are artsy, some are reality, some historical. I like it. It's like traveling without paying the fare.
I think some of you should submit.
It used to be called "A day in the Life".
Scene from my Life
People from all over the world submit photos for a week about their life. Some are artsy, some are reality, some historical. I like it. It's like traveling without paying the fare.
I think some of you should submit.
Monday, July 25, 2005
The owner claimed the dog on Friday, yeahhhh, he wasn't a drop off.
People piss me off sometimes, ya know. I feel like I'm a pretty easy person to get along with, but sometimes I just can't stand a holier than thou attitude. So if you have one, stay away.
It's Alabama hot here today with the dew point at 77 and temp is
90 F. Uggggh.
My son is doing ok. He said that he doesn't think the medicine is helping, but he has been joking around lately, something I haven't seen in a while. I'll have him checked in a couple of weeks when he should see some improvement for himself.
His dad saw his tatoo for the first time this weekend. eeeekk. What's the first thing he said? "You're gonna regret that in a few years." That's the most common saying for anyone who gets a tatoo. Anyway, his dad has some, what can he say? He even got some new ones a couple of years ago.
It's almost back to school, money, money, money, and more money. $$$$$$
What's your Monday Mumble?
People piss me off sometimes, ya know. I feel like I'm a pretty easy person to get along with, but sometimes I just can't stand a holier than thou attitude. So if you have one, stay away.
It's Alabama hot here today with the dew point at 77 and temp is
90 F. Uggggh.
My son is doing ok. He said that he doesn't think the medicine is helping, but he has been joking around lately, something I haven't seen in a while. I'll have him checked in a couple of weeks when he should see some improvement for himself.
His dad saw his tatoo for the first time this weekend. eeeekk. What's the first thing he said? "You're gonna regret that in a few years." That's the most common saying for anyone who gets a tatoo. Anyway, his dad has some, what can he say? He even got some new ones a couple of years ago.
It's almost back to school, money, money, money, and more money. $$$$$$
What's your Monday Mumble?
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
I'm a sucker for animals, any kind. If it wasn't for my partner, we'd probably have 10 dogs by now. When I was married to my former husband when the kids were little, we had two dogs, two cats, a fish tank and a hamster. I'd pick up strays along the way and find new homes for them. One time my neighbor gave us a black kitty cat and low and behold, she had six babies. It seemed like a zoo, but I loved it.
A couple of my favorite shows are Animal Precinct and Houston SPCA on Animal Planet. Sometimes the shows break your heart when you seen the inhumane treatment some animals can endure. One dog had a collar so deeply embedded that the metal chain was rubbing against raw bone. They nursed the poor thing back to health but ended up putting him to sleep because he was food aggressive and due to liability, they could not adopt him out.
I've seemed to pass this love of animals onto my boys. A stray Lab came to our house last evening. We gave him some food, water, and lovins. We would love to keep him but our dog is sooooo not good with other dogs. The last dog we brought into our house, he tried to kill the poor thing. I don't understand him.
It must've been six years ago, we decided to get the boys a dog around Thanksgiving and we took off to the humane society to check it out. They had the cutest dog, a little mutt that had one ear that stood up and the other sort of flopped over. He was gorgeous, so cute. They told us he was in quarantine until the next day, and they do not hold dogs. S had a soccer game the next day and we arrived at the shelter one half hour after they opened and they had already adopted the dog. The boys started crying, I teared up. Damn it I was pissed. There was a weight limit for dogs at the apartment we lived in and the other adoptables were too big and they won't adopt puppies to people with smaller children. (Whatever)
We went home and searched the paper for dogs and there was one ad for mixed breed puppies, so we loaded up the car and went to Barbertucky. That's what we call Barberton around here. We arrive at the house. There's a sofa on the porch along with numerous other items and in the back yard are about 10 dogs. Oh my gosh they were looking scraggly. She showed us the two she had and we picked the dog we have today. He was definitely socialized with other dogs, so I'm not sure why he's so aggressive. He's the man of the house that dog is.
Anyway, we called my ex because he has a garage (we don't) and can keep the dog safe and happy until we find the owner or can give him to someone. The dog is so great. Huge black Lab, a little older, healthly, and very friendly. He listens well and loves the car. He had no collar and there was no mark where one would've been if he slipped out of it. Ususally there's an indentation in the hair. We were driving around the neighborhood trying to find the owner, but we live sort of in the country so houses are far apart. People always drop dogs out there. It's so sad. I placed a found ad this morning, lets hope someone responds.
A couple of my favorite shows are Animal Precinct and Houston SPCA on Animal Planet. Sometimes the shows break your heart when you seen the inhumane treatment some animals can endure. One dog had a collar so deeply embedded that the metal chain was rubbing against raw bone. They nursed the poor thing back to health but ended up putting him to sleep because he was food aggressive and due to liability, they could not adopt him out.
I've seemed to pass this love of animals onto my boys. A stray Lab came to our house last evening. We gave him some food, water, and lovins. We would love to keep him but our dog is sooooo not good with other dogs. The last dog we brought into our house, he tried to kill the poor thing. I don't understand him.
It must've been six years ago, we decided to get the boys a dog around Thanksgiving and we took off to the humane society to check it out. They had the cutest dog, a little mutt that had one ear that stood up and the other sort of flopped over. He was gorgeous, so cute. They told us he was in quarantine until the next day, and they do not hold dogs. S had a soccer game the next day and we arrived at the shelter one half hour after they opened and they had already adopted the dog. The boys started crying, I teared up. Damn it I was pissed. There was a weight limit for dogs at the apartment we lived in and the other adoptables were too big and they won't adopt puppies to people with smaller children. (Whatever)
We went home and searched the paper for dogs and there was one ad for mixed breed puppies, so we loaded up the car and went to Barbertucky. That's what we call Barberton around here. We arrive at the house. There's a sofa on the porch along with numerous other items and in the back yard are about 10 dogs. Oh my gosh they were looking scraggly. She showed us the two she had and we picked the dog we have today. He was definitely socialized with other dogs, so I'm not sure why he's so aggressive. He's the man of the house that dog is.
Anyway, we called my ex because he has a garage (we don't) and can keep the dog safe and happy until we find the owner or can give him to someone. The dog is so great. Huge black Lab, a little older, healthly, and very friendly. He listens well and loves the car. He had no collar and there was no mark where one would've been if he slipped out of it. Ususally there's an indentation in the hair. We were driving around the neighborhood trying to find the owner, but we live sort of in the country so houses are far apart. People always drop dogs out there. It's so sad. I placed a found ad this morning, lets hope someone responds.
Friday, July 15, 2005
I was just over at J-Rocs reading through his archives as I was interested in a person who thought his blog would not be "my cup of tea" since I'm the type of person that is interested in all kinds of people and who they are. I guess that doesn't really show through in what I write here.
He was talking of his father in the biographical archive about how much he misses his father and that made me remember. God, I miss my dad too. How I would've loved to share my adult life with him. He was tall, lanky, smart, funny and he could eat anything and not gain an ounce of weight. I received a call from my mom that he was in the hospital and that it was probably ok and that I didn't need to come home right away. We lived in Louisville, Ky at the time and they were about 4 1/2 hrs away in northern Indiana. So my husband and I went about our business on that Friday night. They were supposed to have visited us that very weekend. We had so much fun together, my husband, my dad, my mom and I. The next day she called and said we needed to come right away, that he had a stroke. So I just put some stuff in a bag, I can't even remember what it was I was so afraid. We we were speeding the entire way to the hospital and when we got there, none of my family was there. The nurses took me aside and told me that he had passed from a brain aneurysm, he was only 53. Oh my god, I couldn't believe it. I just can't tell you how lost I felt at that moment.
Looking back some years later, I was so happy that he had been there to walk me down the isle, every little girls dream. A wedding is so much more than marrying the person you love, it's about moving into a new relationship with your parents as an adult as well.
Thanks J-Roc for taking me back. This Friday's for you.
He was talking of his father in the biographical archive about how much he misses his father and that made me remember. God, I miss my dad too. How I would've loved to share my adult life with him. He was tall, lanky, smart, funny and he could eat anything and not gain an ounce of weight. I received a call from my mom that he was in the hospital and that it was probably ok and that I didn't need to come home right away. We lived in Louisville, Ky at the time and they were about 4 1/2 hrs away in northern Indiana. So my husband and I went about our business on that Friday night. They were supposed to have visited us that very weekend. We had so much fun together, my husband, my dad, my mom and I. The next day she called and said we needed to come right away, that he had a stroke. So I just put some stuff in a bag, I can't even remember what it was I was so afraid. We we were speeding the entire way to the hospital and when we got there, none of my family was there. The nurses took me aside and told me that he had passed from a brain aneurysm, he was only 53. Oh my god, I couldn't believe it. I just can't tell you how lost I felt at that moment.
Looking back some years later, I was so happy that he had been there to walk me down the isle, every little girls dream. A wedding is so much more than marrying the person you love, it's about moving into a new relationship with your parents as an adult as well.
Thanks J-Roc for taking me back. This Friday's for you.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Well not really inside of a pickle, but you know what I mean.
My oldest son has a friend at school (where Lebron James went) and she's 15. Well, one of her good friends is the 14 yr old daughter of the president of the company I work for. No big deal right. This said 15 yr old I'll call G has posted pics on the internet of her and three of her friends (including L the 14yr old) in front of Blockbuster dressed rather ummmm provocatively. They had on very low rise shorts or sweats, tank tops and here's the killer, bras and thongs on the outside of their clothing. The poses were very sexual in nature. I have to say I was shocked. Taking pictures like this out in public is appalling in my mind especially for 14 and 15 yr old girls.
The dilemma is that I'm sure the pres would not approve, do I tell him? I would want to know. You know what else bothers me is that G mother (yes, mother) took those pictures. What the hell?
Anyway, after D showed me the site last night, I went downstairs and talked to my sons for half hour or 45 mins about the portrayal of women in the media. I want them to understand that the reasons girls may do something like this is a reflection of how women are raised to think that being sexy and pretty are what identifies them. Uhhhh I'm so pissed off that we still hold pretty and sexy above smart and wonderful. Well you can imagine that after about 15 min I lost them to eye rolling and the tune out. I tried to be short, I really did.
Any thoughts?
My oldest son has a friend at school (where Lebron James went) and she's 15. Well, one of her good friends is the 14 yr old daughter of the president of the company I work for. No big deal right. This said 15 yr old I'll call G has posted pics on the internet of her and three of her friends (including L the 14yr old) in front of Blockbuster dressed rather ummmm provocatively. They had on very low rise shorts or sweats, tank tops and here's the killer, bras and thongs on the outside of their clothing. The poses were very sexual in nature. I have to say I was shocked. Taking pictures like this out in public is appalling in my mind especially for 14 and 15 yr old girls.
The dilemma is that I'm sure the pres would not approve, do I tell him? I would want to know. You know what else bothers me is that G mother (yes, mother) took those pictures. What the hell?
Anyway, after D showed me the site last night, I went downstairs and talked to my sons for half hour or 45 mins about the portrayal of women in the media. I want them to understand that the reasons girls may do something like this is a reflection of how women are raised to think that being sexy and pretty are what identifies them. Uhhhh I'm so pissed off that we still hold pretty and sexy above smart and wonderful. Well you can imagine that after about 15 min I lost them to eye rolling and the tune out. I tried to be short, I really did.
Any thoughts?
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Here's what I did on my/our once in a lifetime fantasy vacation:
D and I packed some bathing suits and a couple of other necessities and headed for the airport. Once there we passed easily through security with our carry-ons and passports. We boarded first class and talked about where we were going and what we would see.
I had seen a program on the travel channel about an exclusive resort on a secluded island with private villas that had stone patios, hot tubs, terry cloth robes, massages by the beach, beautiful sunsets, need I go on, paradise.
I booked the villa some six months ago with the intention of surprising her with this trip. I didn't tell here where we were going until we arrived at the airport. I did tell her what to pack for however.
You would not believe how beautiful it was there. Aqua colored ocean on a gorgeous private beach. We sipped our cool drinks pool side and listed to the whoossssh of the ocean day after day. No phones, emails, making dinner, rushing around. It was sooo great. We snorkeled in the clear waters off the island one day, paraglided the next. One day we had a private tour of the water falls further inland with a picnic lunch in the glades. Ahhhhh.
NOT
This is what we really did:
D and I packed some bathing suits and a couple of other necessities and headed for the airport. Once there we passed easily through security with our carry-ons and passports. We boarded first class and talked about where we were going and what we would see.
I had seen a program on the travel channel about an exclusive resort on a secluded island with private villas that had stone patios, hot tubs, terry cloth robes, massages by the beach, beautiful sunsets, need I go on, paradise.
I booked the villa some six months ago with the intention of surprising her with this trip. I didn't tell here where we were going until we arrived at the airport. I did tell her what to pack for however.
You would not believe how beautiful it was there. Aqua colored ocean on a gorgeous private beach. We sipped our cool drinks pool side and listed to the whoossssh of the ocean day after day. No phones, emails, making dinner, rushing around. It was sooo great. We snorkeled in the clear waters off the island one day, paraglided the next. One day we had a private tour of the water falls further inland with a picnic lunch in the glades. Ahhhhh.
NOT
This is what we really did:
- Made dinner (ha!) seriously
- Read a book
- Played the SIMS 2
- Napped (I loved this part)
- Drank
- Tanned
- Shopped
- Drove through the ghettos of Cleveland
- Saw "War of the Worlds"
- Slept in
- Took my son to get a tatoo (Don't say ANYTHING)
- That's pretty much it, I like the fantasy one better, don't you?
Monday, July 11, 2005
Friday, July 01, 2005
Today's my last day before my week of vacation. Can we hear a boo yaa from everyone!
My co-workers and I were discussing the price of things today as compared to when we were children:
Movies - $.25
Glass of beer - $.05
Gas - $.35/gal
Ice cream from the ice cream man - $.10
R said that he is surpised that the ice cream truck doesn't have an ATM machine on it today. Another said that he could get a pack of cigarettes and a beer for a $30 bargin.
Funny saying of the day - first comes the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, and finally the suffering. Remember that Vixen. (Remember I'm full of contradictions).
My co-workers and I were discussing the price of things today as compared to when we were children:
Movies - $.25
Glass of beer - $.05
Gas - $.35/gal
Ice cream from the ice cream man - $.10
R said that he is surpised that the ice cream truck doesn't have an ATM machine on it today. Another said that he could get a pack of cigarettes and a beer for a $30 bargin.
Funny saying of the day - first comes the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, and finally the suffering. Remember that Vixen. (Remember I'm full of contradictions).
