Wednesday, July 13, 2005
I'm in a Pickle
Well not really inside of a pickle, but you know what I mean.

My oldest son has a friend at school (where Lebron James went) and she's 15. Well, one of her good friends is the 14 yr old daughter of the president of the company I work for. No big deal right. This said 15 yr old I'll call G has posted pics on the internet of her and three of her friends (including L the 14yr old) in front of Blockbuster dressed rather ummmm provocatively. They had on very low rise shorts or sweats, tank tops and here's the killer, bras and thongs on the outside of their clothing. The poses were very sexual in nature. I have to say I was shocked. Taking pictures like this out in public is appalling in my mind especially for 14 and 15 yr old girls.

The dilemma is that I'm sure the pres would not approve, do I tell him? I would want to know. You know what else bothers me is that G mother (yes, mother) took those pictures. What the hell?

Anyway, after D showed me the site last night, I went downstairs and talked to my sons for half hour or 45 mins about the portrayal of women in the media. I want them to understand that the reasons girls may do something like this is a reflection of how women are raised to think that being sexy and pretty are what identifies them. Uhhhh I'm so pissed off that we still hold pretty and sexy above smart and wonderful. Well you can imagine that after about 15 min I lost them to eye rolling and the tune out. I tried to be short, I really did.

Any thoughts?


Anonymous JV said...

"Well you can imagine that after about 15 min I lost them to eye rolling and the tune out."

Very seldom can one voice of reasonable thought drown out 24/7 worth of media soundbites. Especially when talking to kids. Our grandchildren will probably have ten-second attention spans. People just aren't being taught to think for themselves anymore.

Hi from Michele, and thanks for visiting me yesterday!

Blogger Guppyman said...

Here from Michele's....

You got through fifteen minutes of talking to teenagers before the eyerolling started! WOW!!!!

Blogger Pieces of Me said...

I am like you...if it were me I would want someone to tell me! I am appauld that the mother would take the pics! How did you know the mom took the pics? That is ridiculous and unacceptable! I mean I can see girls being silly...but you dont do that in public! I would say something...I mean he isn't going to be mad that you showed him! I think it would be good for an adult to show him what his daughter is doing so that it can be stopped...what if she did it at a place where people who knew her dad where and then he would be embarrased! Am I making sense? Who put it on the net?? He needs to get that off the net right away! I would privately address him but that is me! Let us know what happens...thanks for commenting on my site! TTYL

Blogger Free to Be said...

A youth minister from the church they attend told us about the pics and that the mom took some of the pics. My girl D works there. Our kids know each other through school and inter-parish dances. Also their dad belongs to the country club that my sons' grandfather belongs to. I send them to catholic school because the public schools here are some of the worst in the state.

Thanks for stopping by.

Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

You write a good post here, Free.

Though it is said women should be able to wear what they like and not expect to be attacked by men, this is pushing it too far.

If a mother takes explicit pictures of her daughter, what does she expect them to be seen as?

The young women need to be educated on what a woman's body means to others, and it is meant be part of themselves, not exploited and dawped at by others.

Blogger Pauly said...

You could print out the blog and pics and send it via inter-office mail to his office. Anonymous, mission accomplished, out of your hands...

Blogger J-Roc said...

I'm here courtesy of Michele.

You're welcome to visit my site, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it might not be your cup of tea.

Read your post today - for what it's worth, I have two (much younger) kids of my own and I find it's a full-time gig worrying about MY offspring, let alone getting involved with someone else's.

I'd leave it alone if it happened to me. Diming out a kid for pictures which were taken by another parent wouldn't be a situation in which I'd feel I had any sort of moral high ground.

My $0.02


Blogger Free to Be said...

After waiting for some comments, I wanted to let you know what I decided and it's to do nothing. I'm with J-Roc on this one.

As many people that prob will look at those pics, they will find out about it without any interference from me.

The only way I would is if I was best friends with her mom.

Blogger Cat said...

I would have to agree with you. If my daughter (if I had one) was involved, then yes, I would feel the need to do or say something. even if it was only to the parent that took the pics.
But since no involvement on your kids part. Then I would just do as you did. talk to your children about your feelings on this. Then leave well enough alone. It is sad a parent would do such a thing.

Take care

Blogger J-Roc said...


The last time a woman agreed with me was when I proposed a divorce...

Anonymous E said...

Good for you for having the conversation! My boys are young, but I am already trying to instill in them that substance is more important than appearances. It's a tough one when they're being bombarded with mixed messages.
I would want to know if those were my kids...I'd be horrified, but I'd still want to know.
Thanks for visiting me earlier and for leaving the nice note! I hope you'll be back and I'll definitely be back to visit you as well.

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