Friday, August 12, 2005
Burping, Farting, and Snoring - Oh My!
I am a princess. I wanted to be a prince. I grew up with four brothers and I told my mom that I was supposed to be a boy. No this isn't some wierd " I'm in the wrong body post". Boys have all the advantages. They can stand up to pee. It's a huge advantage especially out in woods where squatting can be dangerous, all the crawly creepy bugs and poison ivy that can get too close to hotbox. They can burp and fart, in public even, and it's acceptable. Awww boys will be boys is the standard saying. They get to do all the disgusting stuff that females don't.

I snore ok. I can't help it. My roommate in college used to pinch my nose shut to get me to stop. My girlfriend currently has a bad case of vertigo and sleeping is not easy for her, what with the spinning and spinning and I'm going to throw up feeling. She was reading in bed last night, and I was getting my pillows arranged for the upmost sleepage comfort and she turns to me and says, I shit you not, "You can't go to sleep yet, cuz you'll snore". WHAT? Can't sleep yet? I snore? Really. If a women says she snores, you just get the "she's not that feminine" impression. Picture it. You've just made love and you're holding each other, the female starts to fall asleep, and bam, she starts snoring. Not just a little rattle of a snore, an all out "Shock and Awe, California land rumbling earthquake" sounding kind of snore. Don't you just have a little less respect for her as a woman? I'd rather be a Prince. It'd save me shoe money.


21 Comments:

Blogger Lucky328 said...

you are such a trip! i used to snore till i got my tonsils out. so dont feel bad. during my pregnancy my mom said i snored too.. now like i can help it that i am sharing my body and its squishing my lungs so i have to breathe with my nose and mouth! thank you for the post on my site!

Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Fortunately I don't snore...do I?

Blogger trusty getto said...

I only snore once in a while. And just 'cause us guys can get away with it, doesn't mean it's gentlemanly. :)

Sorry to have peeved you with my post. I'll try to post on something more cheery soon. Perhaps I'll tag you, as I just got tagged myself ;^)

Blogger Easy said...

I don't snore. At least, I've never heard it ;-)

Hi. Michele sent me.

Blogger ~Cathy~ said...

My husband is a snorer but only when he's been drinking! Sometimes, it's so bad, I have to move to the couch. :( Michelle sent me!

Anonymous E said...

That made me laugh out loud...There are many nights that I end up in the guest room because my husband snores so loud...but, he's quick to tell me I do it to...just not as loudly. I think any woman who is comfortable with herself should be able to snore with confidence!

Anonymous E said...

Oh...I forgot to say, Michele sent me (but I would've been here anyway!)

Blogger sophie said...

My boyfriend snored like a train until he got tested for sleep apnea--just a thought. He hates his machine but feels sooo much better it is worth it!

Here from Michele's.

Blogger flu said...

So... are you a log sawer?. "skkkkkkkauuauhalkkk"?...and if so, do you use a bow saw (quietly), or a chainsaw(LOUD)?

Or... are you one of those, "aaaahhhhh, weep-weep-weep-weep....aaaaaahhhh, weep-weep-weep-weep" snorers? You know, high-pitched, and your lips kinda slap each other when you exhale?

Or...are you a snuck-clucker? You know, "Snnnnk, cluck-cluck-cluck"...and if so, does your cheek flop big time when you cluck?

your blog readers want to know...

Blogger TrueJerseyGirl said...

Honey, I burp so loud it rattles the shingles on the house. And I don't care. Its the beauty of being a feminist!!! If he can do it, so can I!!!

Blogger Free to Be said...

Fluke, definitely a chain saw on steroids.

Blogger flu said...

hmmmm...I had you figured wrong... ah, well, live and learn!

Blogger Michael Manning said...

Michelle sent me. No snoring from me!

Blogger JC said...

I would say to get tested for sleep apnea. If you have it, it can cause major health problems. Oh, hi from Michele.

Anonymous mercuryfern said...

Thanks for visiting my place.

My brother wanted to be a girl until he learned he could pee standing up and I couldn't. A year of very public al fresco urinations followed. The best of these was facing and in front of the stuffy neighbors dining room window as they had dinner.

Blogger Random Vixen said...

I can pee standing up!

Blogger Erik Holtan said...

Thanks for leaving the comment on my site! I like your site as well, in fact, I am glad I am a man!

Blogger Cat said...

LOL girl, I am just like you, of course I think it is because, I grew up with all Brothers! LOL

take care

Blogger TrueJerseyGirl said...

Preseason doesn't count for anything!!!! ;)

Anonymous Maria said...

Came by way of Michele and enjoyed reading about snoring....an afflication that my husband has honed to perfection.

Blogger dena said...

Fellow snorer... I wake myself up sometimes.

Visting from Michele's.

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