Burping, Farting, and Snoring - Oh My!

I am a princess. I wanted to be a prince. I grew up with four brothers and I told my mom that I was supposed to be a boy. No this isn't some wierd " I'm in the wrong body post". Boys have all the advantages. They can stand up to pee. It's a huge advantage especially out in woods where squatting can be dangerous, all the crawly creepy bugs and poison ivy that can get too close to hotbox. They can burp and fart, in public even, and it's acceptable. Awww boys will be boys is the standard saying. They get to do all the disgusting stuff that females don't.

I snore ok. I can't help it. My roommate in college used to pinch my nose shut to get me to stop. My girlfriend currently has a bad case of vertigo and sleeping is not easy for her, what with the spinning and spinning and I'm going to throw up feeling. She was reading in bed last night, and I was getting my pillows arranged for the upmost sleepage comfort and she turns to me and says, I shit you not, "You can't go to sleep yet, cuz you'll snore". WHAT? Can't sleep yet? I snore? Really. If a women says she snores, you just get the "she's not that feminine" impression. Picture it. You've just made love and you're holding each other, the female starts to fall asleep, and bam, she starts snoring. Not just a little rattle of a snore, an all out "Shock and Awe, California land rumbling earthquake" sounding kind of snore. Don't you just have a little less respect for her as a woman? I'd rather be a Prince. It'd save me shoe money.